Monday, January 22, 2007

I am a BITCH

I can only say, poor poor CB

He really did a dumb thing when he sayd he wanted to have a baby. I don`t think he knew what would happen with his nice, loving, and cuddly girlfriend.

Befor I met CB I always pictured myself beeing single and childless at least untill I was 30 something. And I was determent to adopt a baby when the time came. I did not se the point in getting married. And I could never belive that i would be able to fart, and poop in front of a man withouth beeing embarresed.

Well CB came along and truly rocked my world. I am now pregnant, and the baby is more than welcomed. Beeing pregnant on the other hand sucks. And I really truly did not know how much it would suck.

People talk about the nausia, the vometing, the tiredness, so its expected. I myself have it easy, and thats what really worries me. I am nausious, but not all the time, I am tired, but can function. And I have yet to throw up. And knowing that there are a lot of women that`s got it a lot worse than me, makes me feel really bad about what I am going to write next. (and also makes me feel a bit lik a hypocondiac)

Pregnancy sucks!
I can not for the life of me understand why on earth I said yes to doing this.
Why the hell do people do this more than once, willingly?
Had I known how it would be beforhand, I really would have adopted.
I have told CB that he better pray for it to be two babies in my uterus, becauce there is no way in hell I am doing this again.
What sucks the most is the fact that I can not be touched. Every time CB tries to cuddle, I push him away. He knows that I only do it because I get nausious du to the pregnancy, but I still feel really bad.

I know the "right" answers to my questions, but it does`nt help right now.

And I have not started stressing out about the consept of squeesing a child out between my legs yet. or the breastmilk versus formula thing. I belive I have a glorious time ahead of me.....

I am praying for some sort of revelation that wil make all my worries dissapear, and make me enjoy these 8 months I have left. Because all I can think now is put me in a coma an wake me when the baby is here.

ps: I got a new job :)


Blogger Chris said...

Congrats. It's tough, yes, but it will all be worth it. Babies are awesome.


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